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You Know You’re Cabin Crew When…..

Ladies and gentleman, boys and girls a very warm welcome onboard. Please now stow your hand luggage, take your seats, shut up and belt up.

Recently I asked my lovely followers on social media to answer the following statement, ‘You know you’re Cabin Crew when…..’ There were some very interesting, insightful and hilarious responses, all of which if you’ve ever been a flight attendant, you will totally understand.

Take a look and see how many you agree with and if you have any you would like to add, then please include them in the comments section below.

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‘You know you’re Cabin crew when……….’

  • You constantly say please and thank you after ever sentence, with a fake smile plastered across your face.
  • You put your cabin shoes on to do the hoovering, cooking, ironing, washing-up, cleaning etc.
  • When you eat all your meals behind a curtain, stood up, or sat on top of a box in the corner of the room.
  • You can’t give directions without looking like you’re doing the safety demo.
  • You answer your phone saying, “Hi, it’s me at doors……..”.
  • The captain gives you a bollocking because he doesn’t think the cheeseboard is up to scratch.

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  • The doorbell goes at home and you automatically look to the ceiling to see where that bloody call bell has just gone off.
  • You get on a bus or train and you have to stop yourself from telling people to put their bags under the seat in front. STOP IT! You’re not in work now!
  • You have to stop yourself before you wipe your hands on the curtain.
  • When you can apply lipstick and make-up perfectly, without a mirror and without going over the edges, boys too.
  • You are officially a geek and see airport codes in car registration plates.
  • When traveling as a passenger you un-cross your legs, adopt your landing position and carry out a 30 second review when the plane comes in to land, just in case.
  • NOTHING shocks or surprises you anymore, no matter what people do.
  • All of your pens have different hotel names on them, but you still hate lending them to a passenger.
"Do you have a pen I could borrow?......." "Yes, but I want it back, that hotel biro holds many fond memories for me!"

“Do you have a pen I could borrow?…….”
“Yes, but I want it back, that Ramada Biro holds many fond memories for me!”

  • You hate everyone for everything, all the time.
  • When you try to put the break on your shopping trolley, then curse it because you think you’ve got ANOTHER dodgy trolley, then you realise that actually you’re in the supermarket and not onboard an aircraft.
  • Your super excited to get a seat onboard while on standby and the crew recognize you’re an FA before you even mention it.
  • When you touch your airline ID on your front door to get in at home.
  • You are an expert at walking down the aisle at break-neck speed, without making eye contact with a single passenger.
  • As soon as you slip on that ‘gorgeous’ polyester uniform you’re hungry, you’re tired and the Tourette’s start……“F*@K YOU”, “F*@K THIS”,”F*@K THAT”, “I CAN”T BE F*@KIN BOTHERED”.
flight-attendant

We’ve all had days like this.

  • You stand at doorways like an idiot saying “Buh-bye. Thank you. Have a nice day”.
  • You start calling people Sir and Madam in the supermarket.
  • The polyester is off for a week and your sat on a plane, going on a well-earned holiday. Yet you can’t stop yourself from looking up, every time a call bell goes off.
  • You lock your front door and get someone to cross-check it.
  • In a hotel room you can cook a full meal using the coffee pot and iron, use the ice bucket liner to keep your remote control in and check every bed for signs of bed bugs.
  • A workmen comes to your house and you tell them where the toilets are and serve them tea or coffee on a tray.
  • You refer to cities using their airport codes, which becomes very confusing for family and friends who are not in the industry. “Where the f@*k is SXF???”.
  • You can’t sleep and insomnia becomes a fact of life.
Crew rest.........

Crew rest………

  • You put ‘pop’ in front of everything “Just pop your tray table away”, “Pop your seat-belt on for me”, “Pop your hand luggage away”, “Just Pop your seat-back upright”.
  • You make yourself aware of the nearest exits and how they work, wherever you are.
  • When you ask your mate in a pub if they want a drink then follow it up with, “Ice and lemon with that?”.
  • You excuse yourself when someone bumps in to you.
  • You finish your food before anyone else has even picked up their knife and fork.
  • You discover bruises where you never knew bruises could appear and wonder how the hell they got there?
  • You can pack a suitcase in two minutes flat.

full-suitcase

  • You are excellent at multi tasking.
  • When friends come round for dinner and all you offer them is ‘chicken or beef?’.
  • You look for the latches on your kitchen cupboards.
  • You constantly live out of your suitcase.
  • When you can swear in 20 different languages “vete para la verga!”, “Vaffanculo”, “Ay gamisou”, “Verpiss dich!”.
  • When you’re onboard a flight and you dare not touch the call bell for fear of that icy stare from another crew member, like the one you give to passengers on your flights when they dare to press it.

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  • When you call bin-liners, gash bags and everyone looks at you strangely like you’ve said a dirty word.
  • You have asbestos hands and can remove hot trays from the oven, without a glove or tea towel.
  • When you add your ID number after signing something.
  • When you disembark an aircraft as a passenger and open all the overhead lockers, checking if anyone has left anything behind.
  • You try to sell your stinking, ‘well worn’ crew shoes to dirty perverts on eBay.
  • When you find it normal for people to greet you with a seat number, rather than hello!

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  • When you dream about calls bells, missing a call out from standby or sleeping in on your first day back in work.
  • Your house constantly has that aircraft smell which is being generated from your crew bag.
  • You own two sets of uniform, one for the skinny days and one for the fat days.
  • You’ve read every single celebrity gossip magazine from cover to cover more than once.
  • When a little girl (or boy) comes up to you in the terminal and says “When I grow up, I want to be like you”.
  • No matter how much you say you hate your job, you secretly love it and cannot think of another role that would match this life. Once flying is in your blood it’s hard to do anything else.
  • You understand every one of these points.

© confessionsofatrolleydolly.com by Dan Air.

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About Confessions of a Trolley Dolly (61 Articles)
confessionsofatrolleydolly.com brought to you by International Gay Trolley Dolly, Dan Air ! Come & join us onboard as we take a peek behind the galley curtain with all your cabin crew & aviation news, galley gossip, glamour & humerous tales of life at 39,000 feet!

58 Comments on You Know You’re Cabin Crew When…..

  1. hahaaa LOVE IT, could not be more true. I also have said to taxi drivers “Safe flight”

    • and I also greet people in the elevator…and have said :thank you and goodbye, when they went to their floor:))

  2. berryjuicy // 05/07/2013 at 8:58 PM // Reply

    : when you travel and u heard commands to arm all doors and you just about to jump out of your seat to do it
    : when you stratled up during the night and wonder where you are and what time is it
    : the first thing you think of when u go on a duty or a vacation if the flight is full

  3. Raffaella Alto // 08/07/2013 at 11:55 PM // Reply

    It is absolutely hysterical and I couldn’t agree more! Only cabin crew can understand and have a laugh reading those lines. It is our world that no one else could ever understand! Thank you so much for sharing it with us!!

  4. When i go days off and the phone rings while i am sleeping, i tell my mom to anwer, it might be an emergency call.

  5. AIDA BOUSTANY // 23/07/2013 at 11:26 PM // Reply

    WHEN NO MORE 5 STARS HOTELS AND RESTAURANTS AND ALL KINDS OF LUXURY WILL IMPRESS YOU ANYMORE..

  6. Dorothy (Bell) Harris // 26/07/2013 at 5:07 AM // Reply

    )

  7. Dorothy (Bell) Harris // 26/07/2013 at 5:09 AM // Reply

    When you haven’t been flying for 46 years years and still dream of being called out on standby.

  8. when you meet up with your cabin crew friends and you always end up talking about flying no matter how hard you try not to.

  9. When it’s 06.00 in the morning and you have a Nob head Passenger seating in front of you trying to impress his girlfriend making funny waves with his hands how an A/C works when it takes of and his eyes are every where to see if people are hearing him out to impress . And you seat there for your 30 min review and you want to tell him that is not like that , and you do !

  10. Karen Vernon // 04/08/2013 at 8:07 PM // Reply

    After 25yrs. I thought it was time to give up the job and let those younger lose sleep. No one told me their should be a Rehab for retired FAs! You thought it was a good idea at the time, but now you just leave your suitcase packed in case a friend remembers you’re alive and ask it you would like to go on her trip.

  11. Grace watt // 04/08/2013 at 8:23 PM // Reply

    U never new that there was so many bobs came onboard aircraft. E.g bob 22 Charlie

  12. sharon ames // 04/08/2013 at 10:38 PM // Reply

    Fantastic, was cabin crew for 20 yes and understand every comment, love this site! X

  13. When you go to sleep and before switching off the lights you ensure that everything is secured!

  14. I really love it !!!!!! GREEEEAAAAAATTTTT!!!!!!!! You are the real proof that angels fly !!!!!

  15. – When you are leaving an hotel room, and you spontaneously ask to cross-check anything to your astonished travel mate…
    – When you are able to make a perfect hairbun in one minutes, with no clips, no clutch, no elastic…
    – When you, at the cinema, find in your pockets pen, paper, lipgloss, breath candies, small mirror.
    – When everybody who knows what your job is, ask to make the safety demo fo us!!

  16. jajajjajajajaja absolutely right!!!!

  17. When you are stuck in a timezone permanently which is NOT of the country that you are residing in!!!!

  18. Pointing to the lavatory, the only door available on a A319/320, a hundred time per day, costs you so much you dream to bang one’s head against it!

  19. As a pax you can ´ t help but checking around you that window´s blind are open, armrests down, electronic devices off etc.

  20. When you’re on annual leave anf flying back home with the company you work for, as soon as the seatbelt sign goes off, you rush to one of the galleys and start to talk with the crew….. and offer your help to count the bars, do PA’s or something else….

  21. WHEN YOU ENTER YOUR HOUSE, CLOSE THE DOOR AND TURN AROUND LOOKING FOR THE SLIDE ARMING LEVER!

  22. sharon ames // 29/08/2013 at 5:55 PM // Reply

    When you are knackered on days off, don’t actually know what day it is and have gin with your breakfast! X

  23. respect cabincrew // 11/09/2013 at 7:32 PM // Reply

    When you are so used to saying thank you and realising just how rude some people can be and pick on people who doesn’t say thank you after you e.g. hold the door or lift open for them!

    When travelling as a pax you automatically stow all handbags under the seat infront of you, fasten up seatbelt and ensure that the window shades are up, armrests down and seats upright for takeoff and landing.

  24. lovethismetaltubebitch // 09/10/2013 at 7:22 PM // Reply

    when your onboard on holiday and the manual safty demo starts you pay attention haha

  25. Still do 95% of these even after a good 6 years of being out of it!! X

  26. You travel as pax and look for your shoulder harness as soon as the seatbelt sign comes on

  27. Jess Scales // 06/11/2013 at 6:26 AM // Reply

    When you go to the gas station and say “hi, can I please have $20 of unleaded 91 on GATE 4” instead of pump 4. Done that many times!

  28. Monica Kemigisha // 09/11/2013 at 3:49 AM // Reply

    When you know most of the in room dining menus off head,in most of the hotels hahahahah

  29. Emilyroy // 11/11/2013 at 6:16 PM // Reply

    You call EVERYONE maaaam or sir. This includes your nail technician and the check out staff at the Local supermarket.

  30. parinita deuri // 19/11/2013 at 1:02 AM // Reply

    Hahahaa…Yes only a cabin crew would thoroughly enjoy reading this.. Lost the habit of kiping ph in silent mode..Thinking of ne calls regarding flites 😛 😛

  31. Ash dahaba // 26/11/2013 at 10:26 AM // Reply

    I never make my Flight attendants suffer and I always write a thank you comment with all their names either electronically on the Airline website or on the comment card…………….and I am a very green passenger as I use the same cup even for a 10 hours flight……………and the FA always appreciate that and I always get the gorgeous chocolate Moos left over from the First Class meal…………. as a reward……………so being a nice passenger will make your really enjoy your flight

  32. Carina in the clouds // 29/11/2013 at 3:00 PM // Reply

    I once sat down in the cinema and fumbled behind my back to find my seatbelt..and every single time I fly as a pax, I have to fight the urge to close the overhead bins on my way to my seat.

  33. Christine // 22/12/2013 at 10:32 PM // Reply

    Lol! I love it! Even as a former FA, I still do some of these things. Thanks for sharing.

  34. Max O'Neill // 26/01/2014 at 4:46 AM // Reply

    When at home you try to put the fridge door to automatic. And, I have mates who suggest that, during sex you shout the ETA. I haven’t flown as crew for twenty seven years and I recognize most of these.. When I left flying, it was because it gave me up, not the other way round and I miss it still.

  35. Checking your oven when you come in your house!
    22 years retired after 3 airlines and 20 years of flying. Thank you for sharing!

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  38. rebecca boocock-wilson // 06/06/2014 at 11:24 AM // Reply

    I don’t fly anymore but after about 8 years as a no1 i miss it and i understand everyone of these points even when i travel as a passenger i still look up when a call button goes off and still uncross my legs for landing lol

  39. Brilliant. A big yes to most of these.
    I absolutely hate giving pax my hotel pens!!!
    Also, it drives me crazy that I go through the cabin saying thank you every time they hand me their trash !!!!

  40. When you try and swipe your work pass or ASIC to get into your own house!!

  41. ZuluWhiskeyGal // 06/06/2014 at 3:21 PM // Reply

    When friends mention a city in casual conversation and your mental image is of the food court at said city’s airport!

  42. Chelsie Lev // 06/06/2014 at 4:31 PM // Reply

    When you fly as a passenger and groom your seat when you leave.

    When you call the trunk of your vehicle ‘the tail’.

  43. When you are talking to your none cabin crew friends and you sound so poshy describeing places, countries and shopping mall that you’ve been in the last 7 days from 1 side of the world to another

  44. Jessica Näslund // 06/06/2014 at 8:57 PM // Reply

    When flying as a passenger and another passenger gets up to close a overhead bin during take off and you scream: SIT DOWN!!!!

  45. Delma Fernandes // 06/06/2014 at 9:22 PM // Reply

    Been on ground for some time and have seen a Crew’s life quiet close… Yes, ill agree to each and every point in here, From the Verbiage to the aisle settlement to the meals, and your day to day life…when you do not really realize which day it is…to carrying yourself in the same ways whist out of duty hours. Hats off to you all….!

  46. Christine Van Rooyen // 06/06/2014 at 11:09 PM // Reply

    When you wipe your hands on your curtains when the door bell goes off.

  47. all trueeeeee !!!!

  48. Posh Mac // 07/06/2014 at 5:12 AM // Reply

    Hahahahahaha guys you are soooooooo Brilliant l can’t stop laughing at your comments,kwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

  49. you always looking for a fire extinguisher wherever you go and looking for its due date.

  50. tlangthangluoi khawzawl // 05/05/2015 at 5:05 PM // Reply

    Freshers to the airline cabin crew but l have been working as a service boy and a high quifferent hotels and restaurants for the past 2 yesrs and presently.l provide high quality service to the customer.i want to join your company .
    thanks

  51. And when you travel as a pax you automatically fasten the seatbelt behind you when you get up. 😀😀

  52. when you always try to fart near a baby so they’ll take the blame if it smells.

  53. when you tell everyone when you’re going to the toilet…

  54. Lincy stanley // 06/05/2015 at 3:05 PM // Reply

    When u tell the time in military hours and everyone goes ‘say whaaat?!’…

  55. Lincy stanley // 06/05/2015 at 3:08 PM // Reply

    When u talk about time in military hours and people go ‘say waaat?!’:)

  56. When you appologise for everything even when you have not don anything wrong.

    When your 3 year old son askes you if you will be taking the car or the aircraft when you tell him ; put on your shoes we are going bye bye.

    When your 3year old has don 57 flights and speaks 3 languages and think everyone on the tv is his family like on skype….

    When even on your off days you drive to the airport instead of the beach just because you are driving on automatic pilot.

    When you wake up at 6 in the morning and hear a plane take off and think to yourself : the BCN took off late today, wonder what was the problem.

    When you say have a safe flight even if someone is just going to the supermarket!

    Wake up from every call bell even when you’re on your holiday flight.

    Trying to avoid flying, hotels and tourists when traveling. I prefer, backpack, cheap hostels and sleeper trains or it does not feel like a holiday.

    Love your job but hate to tell people that you are a flight attendant or that you work for so and so airline because they will always have a story and they will always ask you for a favor.

    After 8 years your mum still send you at text because she doesn’t want to accidentally call you while your flying !!! ( she just doesn’t get it that there is no connection up there, just like your roster and off days or what a standby day actually mean)

  57. When you start chatting to people’s kids and being friendly, then you realise you’re not in uniform and you’re actually in the supermarket and are looking like a bit of a perv!!!! 🙈🙈 EVERY time I go shopping!! 😂

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