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An Open Letter From A Flight Attendant: We’re there to save your arse, not kiss it!

You need a very thick skin to be cabin crew. Verbal and on rare occasions physical abuse, has always been one of the perils of our career, even during the glory days of the glamorous jet-set.

Sometimes though even the most hardened and thick-skinned crew members crack. After some particularly testing flights, one of my over worked and underpaid Dollies sent me this letter. I was touched by his words and knew that so many of my fellow crew would to relate to his plight.

So here it is, an open letter from a flight attendant……

Used For - A-Z of PAX, An Open Letter From An FA

“When people ask what I do for a living I am proud to tell them I’m Cabin Crew. Most people instantly react with statements such as, “WOW, how glamorous” or “You must get to see the world?”

True the role has its perks, many of them. But let’s be honest, for thousands of crew around the world our job basically entails flying point to point, barely seeing anything of our destinations apart from a jet-bridge or tarmac. As for the perceived ‘glamour’ of the 1960’s well, all I can say is what glamour? The reality of being crew today involves long hours, operating several sectors per day, limited time off and a very fine line between our work/life balance.

Yet for the majority of us, it’s still an enjoyable job. I’m not writing this to complain or whine, I simply wish to enlighten the masses, who often fail to realise just how hard we do work.

Many of you will have heard your pilots say that we are on board primarily for your safety. This is true. As the old saying goes ‘we are there to save your arse, not kiss it’. Still, part of being a flight attendant is to provide a service and this is just another element of our job that many of us also enjoy. 

Every member of cabin crew on your flight will have completed an intensive initial training course, carried out to the highest standards. Before each flight we are once again tested on our first aid and safety knowledge, ensuring we are up to the job. If not, then that crew member will be offloaded and sent for further training.

Each and every one of us hope and pray that we will never have to use the medical, safety and security training we are so frequently tested on. We much prefer carrying out our secondary duties, providing comfort to you our dear passengers, ensuring you have the best flight possible and therefore wish to fly with our airlines again.

Used For - PAs, Open Letter From FA

Don’t get me wrong this open letter is not an attack towards the vast majority of our passengers. You are the reason we do this job. We are people who like people and enjoy being there for you. I am simply writing this to clear up a few things the great travelling public seem to forget occasionally.

In recent years I have noticed a huge increase in animosity towards cabin crew. Abusive language, violence, sexual and physical assaults and homophobic abuse towards male crew is rapidly becoming the norm, especially on certain ‘party’ routes. This is unacceptable and it needs to stop.

Alcohol is one of the main issues here. Airports ply passengers with drink and then send them on their merry way. It is illegal to be drunk on board an aircraft, so why do airports do it? Sadly, it all boils down to money. If passengers are buying drinks in their bars or litres of spirits (which they smuggle in their hand luggage to drink on board, we’re not stupid) in their duty-free shops, then they are making money. What is worrying, is the state in which some passengers get in to.

My fear is that one day this is going to have an impact on safety. Flying is still the safest form of transport. This is because the aviation world has adapted and learnt from previous accidents and incidents. I pray that it doesn’t take an alcohol fuelled event to alter this area of our beloved industry. We want you to enjoy yourselves, don’t get me wrong. All we ask is that you respect us and more importantly, have some respect for yourselves.

Please also understand that when we’re asking you to fasten your seatbelt or turn off your laptop, it’s not because we are on some sort of power trip. It’s because we’re following rules and guidelines set out by our respective aviation authorities and airlines. “But when I flew with (insert other airlines name here), they let me do it!”. “Yes but you’re not flying with them now, are you sir?” and every airline has different procedures so please respect that.

Then of course there are the dreaded delays, delays which of course are all our fault. Believe it or not your pilots and cabin crew have actually flown as passengers and we too will have experienced the same delays as you. There may even be an off duty crew member or pilot on your delayed flight today, who is just as frustrated as you are that they are missing some of their holiday. The difference is, they won’t be screaming in some unsuspecting crew members face, blaming them for the fog that is blanketing the airport. We understand your frustration. The thought of delaying your well-earned break, postponing your important business meeting or family reunion is distressing. But screaming at your crew is not the way to go, especially if you wish to continue your journey with us because believe me, there are many crew out there who will offload you without a second thought.

We understand you perceive us as the face of our airline, but please believe me when I say that we are doing everything we can to get you where you need to be. We have lives too and would much rather get you to your destination than be stuck on a metal tube with you for hours on end. Please also be aware that many of us aren’t even getting paid during these delays, so I hope you understand that we hate delays just as much as you do.

Believe it or not we are not your enemy and we completely understand your frustration and inconvenience. We would love to live in a world where everything works like clockwork and nothing goes wrong. Sadly, life is not like that, but we try to do everything we can to minimise the stress.

I personally have worked for many years, in both the aviation and customer service industry and though a vast majority of the public think that we don’t care, we really do. There is nothing more pleasurable for a crew member than to have a passenger praising them when they disembark. Comments such as “Thank you, that was a lovely flight”, “You were fantastic thank you” or “I can’t wait to fly with you again” go a very long way with us. Sadly, these comments are becoming rarer and rarer, as people only seem to want to complain instead of praising a job well done.

Let me end this by saying that I love my passengers. You are the reason I do this job, being a part of your travelling experience, whether it be a simple journey to a business meeting or a holiday of a life time, you are all my passengers and receive my undivided attention. 

All I ask is that the next time you fly, please remember how you would feel if someone screamed at you for something you had no control over, insulted you in your place of work or simply ignored you whilst you were doing your up most to help.


Your Crew Member”

Used For - Open Letter From FA

© Anonymous FA for by Dan Air.

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8 Comments on An Open Letter From A Flight Attendant: We’re there to save your arse, not kiss it!

  1. Reblogged this on and commented:
    Here is an open letter from a flight attendant. Sometimes we probably need to stop and think about how we treat fellow people in the service industry.

  2. Very true words. It’s a sad thing that people are always getting mad about things that do have nothing to do with the job of the cabin crew (thunderstorm, labor strikes somewhere else, …). Sadly, I feel like some people will never learn 😦

  3. carine woder // 14/10/2014 at 9:38 PM // Reply

    Excellent !
    And so so true !
    Just goes to show that no matter what colour our skin is people are the same around this amazing planet.
    Sadly, the only time pax actually behave is during an emergency….that’s when they realise ‘oh crap!’
    BUT there will be those that are in shock…..then they behave.
    (well, most of them)

    On your next lay over, please have a drink for us who have left flying…hung up my wings 5 years ago after 28 years….i was ready to leave but still miss the crew, the fun, even the passengers !
    Got my service excellent awards and very proud of them.

    You all are truly wonderful people who fly…with what you put up with and with a smile .
    Stay safe, alert, smile. Professionals all the way

    Carine Woder xxxxxx

  4. Unquestionably imagine that that you said. Your favourite justification appeared to
    be on the net the simplest factor to keep in mind of. I say to you, I certainly get annoyed
    at the same time as folks think about worries that they just do not recognise about.
    You controlled to hit the nail upon the top as well as outlined out
    the entire thing with no need side effect , other people could take a signal.
    Will probably be back to get more. Thanks

  5. As a waitress I know these feelings all too well. Being the “face”. At the end of the day… I didn’t cook your steak. I didn’t choose what veg goes on out roast.

    I will say though, if someone has genuinely had a bad time, I’m on their side, and I’ll do all in my power to make it up to them.

    I’m not impressed with my last flight… I’m a very nervous flyer… I hate it. It terrifies me. The cabin crew weren’t too helpful with it… And would not allow for my friend to swap with a willing passenger so she could hold my hand. I was left alone, terrified. THANKS.

    I’ve never really had much help with this, as cabin crew ignore my anxiety attacks, or offer any insight as to how to make my flight less terrifying…. I’m sure they’d know at least one tip….

    • Do you talk to the Cabin CREW about your problem? Cause IF you Do i am sure they Will Do all they can to make you feel in a good mood. But they are not therapists. They cant help you solve the problem. And they cant read your mind!

  6. Nicole, many airlines offer courses on how to handle fear of flying. I do not know where in the world you are but a friend of mine did one with BA and said his flying is a lot better after the course. BA course:

    I dont know where in the world you are, but check with your local airlines if BA is not an option for you.

  7. Alistair Taylor // 13/06/2018 at 8:38 PM // Reply

    I have been a passenger on a variety of airlines and aircraft and I have, except in 1 case, always found the cabin crews hard working and professional. Thank you all. (especially the Flybe Inverness crews)

    On one amazing occasion I was asked to take a long haul charter flight and report back on the crew performance (cabin and flight) for my company, who were the hirer. It was an interesting insight into the work you guys do; especially the stuff we passengers never see.
    The amount of of unglamorous work you do for ungrateful passengers shocked me, and left me in awe of your patience, quick thinking, and ability to work with some absolute cretins. (no, not the pilots 😁)

    Thanks for all the great service, and stay safe up there folks.

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