Galley FM News

Welcome Onboard

“Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, a very warm welcome on board this international flight shortly departing for glitz, glamour and a peek behind that galley curtain; as we reveal what life is really like for your international trolley dollies at 35,000 feet.

We now ask that you give us a few moments of your time, while we take you through the safety features of this state-of-the-art jet.

A safety card is in your seat pocket. What use a piece of laminated card will be if our aircraft ploughs into a mountain is a mystery to me, but please take a quick look at the pretty pictures.

The exits are located here, here and here. They’re still open, so if you don’t like what you’ve seen so far I suggest you leave now.

Your seat-belt is used as demonstrated. If you don’t know how to fasten a seat-belt you probably shouldn’t be allowed out on your own.

If there is a drop in cabin pressure, masks will drop from above you. Grab a mask and pull it towards you. Then insert your credit card into the slot provided. This will start the oxygen supply. Place your own mask on before helping others. If you are travelling with two or more children, decide now which one you love most.

All passengers are provided with a complimentary life-jacket, should our flight become a cruise. Simply pop it over your head, pass the straps around your waist and tie in a double bow. It is also fitted with a light to attract the attention of passing sailors. We will pass through the cabin, handing out babies for the lifecots.

Please now ensure that your seat-belt is securely fastened. Your tray table stowed. Seat back up-right and that your luggage is safely stowed away. Smoking is only permitted in the smoking section which can be located on each wing. If you can light it, you can smoke it.

Please be advised that we operate a very strict NO policy onboard all of our flights.

Finally, ladies and gentleman, the cabin lights will shortly be dimmed for our departure, this is to improve the appearance of your cabin crew.

Thank you for listening to our safety briefing. For those of you that didn’t……good luck!

We would like to wish you a very pleasant flight today with”

© by Dan Air

10 Comments on Welcome Onboard

  1. a good read… wish some of it can be printed out and kept in each seat pocket.

  2. Great web site and follow on face book too. Lovely to see some of the old airlines and there crew. I’ve some pics of my flybe days 2005 onwards please tell how I send them to you


  3. Hi there, Is there an email or contact number I could contact you on? I work for a production company and we are making a documentary on the 1989 Kegworth Air Disaster. Am hoping to chat to you about the article you wrote on the topic

  4. Hey there! Just found your blog from a news story about drunk, violent passengers, and wanted to reach out because we had a similar incident last night. My family and I were flying Frontier from Denver to Phoenix, and were subject to a clearly inebriated customer who was verbally abusive, threatening death, etc. There was no one on board who could do anything about it, so they took her off the plane by police when we landed. According to the police, there wasn’t enough interference for them to arrest her, and she was “embarrassed enough” so they let her go. My family and I had to sit with this woman for an hour and a half while she threatened death and dismemberment on my family. She should NOT have been allowed on the plane in the first place, she reaked of booze and was slurring her words when she got on. They took off anyway, and no less than 20 people had to ask her to watch her mouth and to shut up because she kept threatening to kill people, and that “people were waiting to kill you” when we land. ALL of that, and NOTHING was done about it. I feel SO bad for you guys being stuck up there with these types of trash. I will be filing suit against Frontier Airlines, Denver International, and Phoenix Sky Harbor for their handling of this, but without proper media attention – you guys are going to have to deal with this for a long time. Honestly I feel its time for passengers to start handling these issues on their own. I could have subdued this woman myself, if it had not been for fear of federal law!

  5. Simon Marton // 05/08/2019 at 10:13 AM // Reply

    Hi Dan,
    Is there a postal address I can send my book ?
    It ties up with so many things I’ve see you blog on!

  6. Amanda CNG Raygen // 08/12/2019 at 1:06 AM // Reply

    Love it … as a fellow trolley dolly I love the wit , humour and of the course the truth of it 🤣🤣🤣🤣

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